Something is bothering me yesterday and keep bugging me today. It was last Saturday conversation between me and my workmate and continued yesterday. She asked something that coming to my privacy. I understood that the question will come up from everybody who doesn't know my family story and I always say something that makes them do not ask again. Person characteristic is different each other. Some can accept our explanation which is entering personal matter, but some will dig and dig untill everything is clear. I am a person who does not want to tell my personal life easily to everybody eventhough they are my best friends. Please asks my friend, I have a lot of close friend but only 1 or 2 or 3 persons knows my personal life.
My friend who asked me last time is a kind of God Servant in her church. She has obligation to help burden people, and she thinks I need to be helped. She try to open my story by telling her story first. But when she tried it, I refused it, deeply refused. I did not want to tell my story to her right now, or maybe forever. maybe because I think she is not capable for me or I think I dont trust her to know my story right now. Or maybe I dont feel this time is not the right time to say about that. At office, I tend to focus on working, not on my personal life as I am afraid it will influence my work. Maybe I will cry or feel angry or frustated or else.
She tried to push me as she said it is for your good sake but again I refuse it. She tried so much to say and I said NO, please do not push me. Lucky she understood and stop it and told another story that made me laughing. Thank you. But what she has done, it is already made me feel uncomfortable to go with her.
Dear God, is it wrong for me to keep my problem in my heart. Is it wrong to only share with You? not to this lady? is it wrong to let my problem in Your Hand. She felt that I am not doing anything, only keep quite, not doing some hard effort. She felt sorry for what I am doing since she felt I can do more and reserve to get more than my condition now, but why I dont do that. Hmm....it is really bugging me, it is the 2nd times. If she tried again for the 3rd times, she will get glass reward, hahaha...
When I told this problem to my best friend, they only said to ignore that question, as if you remember it all the time, you will be sick and feel hurt. I agreed with their point. It is my life, I have right to decide what should I do, who cares what people said, as long as I do not bother them. I do not do something wrong or embarassed against them, why they have to bother me? I dont fully understand but I understand something that it is Indonesia, people like to see other people fault or unusual action and try to jump into it
Anyway, God please help me to guide me through this. Believe you always help me until today. Is it wrong when I choose my own life like this? Is it your plan to send someone to ask me deeply to solve my problem? Please forgive me God as I cannot share with her. Not all problem I can share with friend. Maybe friend A for A topics, friend B for B topics, friend C for C topics and so on. I need to have some trust and confident first....
God Bless Me!
My friend who asked me last time is a kind of God Servant in her church. She has obligation to help burden people, and she thinks I need to be helped. She try to open my story by telling her story first. But when she tried it, I refused it, deeply refused. I did not want to tell my story to her right now, or maybe forever. maybe because I think she is not capable for me or I think I dont trust her to know my story right now. Or maybe I dont feel this time is not the right time to say about that. At office, I tend to focus on working, not on my personal life as I am afraid it will influence my work. Maybe I will cry or feel angry or frustated or else.
She tried to push me as she said it is for your good sake but again I refuse it. She tried so much to say and I said NO, please do not push me. Lucky she understood and stop it and told another story that made me laughing. Thank you. But what she has done, it is already made me feel uncomfortable to go with her.
Dear God, is it wrong for me to keep my problem in my heart. Is it wrong to only share with You? not to this lady? is it wrong to let my problem in Your Hand. She felt that I am not doing anything, only keep quite, not doing some hard effort. She felt sorry for what I am doing since she felt I can do more and reserve to get more than my condition now, but why I dont do that. Hmm....it is really bugging me, it is the 2nd times. If she tried again for the 3rd times, she will get glass reward, hahaha...
When I told this problem to my best friend, they only said to ignore that question, as if you remember it all the time, you will be sick and feel hurt. I agreed with their point. It is my life, I have right to decide what should I do, who cares what people said, as long as I do not bother them. I do not do something wrong or embarassed against them, why they have to bother me? I dont fully understand but I understand something that it is Indonesia, people like to see other people fault or unusual action and try to jump into it
Anyway, God please help me to guide me through this. Believe you always help me until today. Is it wrong when I choose my own life like this? Is it your plan to send someone to ask me deeply to solve my problem? Please forgive me God as I cannot share with her. Not all problem I can share with friend. Maybe friend A for A topics, friend B for B topics, friend C for C topics and so on. I need to have some trust and confident first....
God Bless Me!
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